VIDEO: the tale of two star-crossed lovers which set Exeter alight.

It’s the rumour on every Exeter student’s lips since that fateful night in December. CCTV footage of two guests engaged in sexual activity was filmed on a phone and circulated via WhatsApp.

The Tab received the video at the start of the year and took legal advice on Monday, when we decided we could not publish the video. In this particular set of circumstances. There is legal precedent, thanks to Z-listers Calum Best and Lizzy Jagger.

Earlier today, we asked you whether you thought we should publish the video. An overwhelming 83% of you thought we should…you filthy buggers.

‘Difficult time’

The Guild needlessly spunked their cash on letters from lawyers, which we can’t publish.

They later sent us the following statement: “The Students’ Guild recognises that confidential CCTV footage has been filmed without our permission.

“The Guild is making sure the affected parties will be supported during this difficult time.

“Measures were in place to provide high levels of security, but we are aware that irresponsible behaviour has taken place and we are working hard to rectify the situation.

“A full investigation is underway in which action proportionate to the seriousness of the situation will be taken.”

The Tab says: gotcha!

@mattjpfmcdonald

  • hungry

    this is the best thing ever

  • Guardian Reader

    'The Tab says: gotcha!' ?
    Well it would appear the tab doesnt have a copy after all and was just trying to boost readership like any good low life tabloid…

  • Guardian Reader

    'The Tab says: gotcha!' ?
    Well it would appear the tab doesnt have a copy after all and was just trying to boost readership like any good low life tabloid…

  • Bob

    Well it turns out 83% of exeter are cunts

    • lol

      gay?

  • Danny

    After all that you don't even post the video? The Tab: quality journalism.

  • Anon

    'A disappointing lack of attention to the testicles'?

    Who gives a fuck? Seriously, this poor girl. As if the guy in the video made any more of an effort? Come the fuck on, people.

  • Anonymous

    The Wam, hahaha -get someone who an speak properly.

  • Name changed

    oh shittttttttttttttttttt, got caught. my bad

  • Anonymous

    Come On,,,,Show the Vid ! I wanna JERK OFF !! LOL

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  • Anon

    Bias article, what a surprise

  • Kieran Brocken

    I stand united with the student protesters. Make your voice heard.

  • Anon

    Are these meant to be educated students? Kick them off their courses, they clearly don’t deserve a place at uni until they grow up and actually understand the world a bit more.

    • geko

      Let’s not start denying people education based on their political affiliation or views, no matter how silly they might look. That is a slippery slope.

  • dfdf

    There is an irony in marxists moaning about excessive law enforcement in academia.

  • Anon

    Given that absolutely nobody at the protest spoke to this journalist, it’s incredible how they supposedly got quotes from protestors. This article reads like one giant huff at being asked not to take photos. The fact they ignored the request clearly shows the lack of respect for fellow students and exactly why protestors did not want to speak to this particular journalist.

  • David J

    “I think we should abolish the police” Yep, when your grandmother gets mugged by some lowlife, I’m sure you’ll still say that about police… These ostentatious attempts at ‘edgy’ politics are pathetic…

  • Sussex Student

    Utterly ridiculous

  • anon

    Why don’t you shove that leather jacket up your arse Marchant

  • Jamie Ackers

    This article gave me an erection.